Sunday, November 27, 2005

God Save the Queen

According to last weekend's paper, Al Qaeda has a new target, and this time it's not the usual suspects such as hapless commuters, sun-seeking tourists, or meddling Western politicians. Instead, the unlikely individual caught in their crosshairs is 79-year old Queen Elizabeth.

While she's definitely made some questionable decisions in life, not the least of which was that unfortunate turquoise ensemble she wore to Ascot Day this year, does this diminutive English septuagenarian really merit being declared 'one of the severest enemies of Islam' by Al Qaeda in their recently released tapes regarding the July bombings?

I've rarely heard the poor woman utter a sentence, let alone voice an opinion, and the monarchy hasn't made or even influenced public policy since the early 18th century. With only figurehead 'powers' to rubber-stamp legislation and church appointments, why waste precious time going after Queenie when surely there are more important targets at hand? Or maybe not. Maybe this last, desperate grasping at straws signals that Osama is finally running out of steam. Well, if all else fails and his foot soldiers can't penetrate the likes of Her Majesty's Secret Service, he can always fall back on softer targets like, say, the Golden Girls, Barbara Bush or Miss Marple.