Tuesday, July 12, 2005

A Visitor's Gruesome Discovery...

Yes, unfortunately this is exactly what you think it is--a picture of Steve in his new role as avian undertaker. Just when I thought I could focus my worries on some of the bigger and more pressing issues at hand, we had guests over the other night who made a grim discovery indeed.

All was going well as we graciously served up canapes (store-bought, naturally) and wine, basking for the first time in the fruits of our hard-won labors by relaxing in the friendly confines of our new home. Our guests were full of delightful admiration of how things had come together as we proudly showed them around, displaying our handiwork in all of its jury-rigged glory (sofabed with newly bracketed-on legs, stairwell still sans a few critical banisters that can render trips to the third floor positively deadly after a cocktail or two). While regaling our visitors with tales of our previous pigeon woes as we stood in "The Room of Countless Sleepless Nights", a.k.a. the new guest room, one of them made the rather unfortunate decision to open the window to check out the new pigeon net over the roof that I'd been waxing on about so excitedly. The expression on his face quickly turned to one of sheer horror and, certain it was merely a sick attempt to play into our deepest fears, we all moved in for a closer look.

I rather wished I hadn't. You see, apparently there's been a breech in the new Pigeon Defense System...either that or I grossly (and I do mean grossly) misinterpreted its purpose. It seems the birds have been having no problem at all getting in through it, it's just getting out to find food and water that's become problematic--hence our inadvertent foray into a bustling rooftop mortuary business and Steve's newly developed skills as an ARRS (Avian Recovery and Retrieval Specialist). Not sure he'll be adding that to his resume anytime soon though.


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